Now, maybe?

Just a little over two years ago, I wrote this convicted passage about how there is no "right time" to start something, to step out into what you feel called to do- to follow a passion...and then crickets. This tells me I was hoping that typing them would instill this definite belief in me that it was truth, but it fell short and I was left without enough ammunition to continue. This isn't because the words weren't true, it's because I talked myself out of believing they were true. For ME. For others, yes, I believe that all day long. But I never extend myself that same grace. 

I am full of hope and encouragement for others, but when it comes to divvy out that same "you got this!" attitude to myself...a lot of times I'm left empty handed. I hand it out in spades to those around me, but am SO stingy about giving myself the same. What IS THAT? It's being selfish, but in an upside down kind of way. 

I want to be a better advocate for myself. "Don't be afraid! You know this is what you're supposed to be doing!" "Don't second guess yourself!" "Don't worry about what others think!"

Why do my pom-poms (did you know they're actually called pompons?) have to take a break every time it's me up to bat? 

"Don't hide your light under a bushel, Ashlea!"

My therapist and I recently had a conversation about inner dialogue and how we can (and should) develop mantras that we say to ourselves when confronted with repeated situations that are giving "same ish, different day". When that song came into my head just now, about not hiding your light under a bushel, I instantly felt like THAT needs to be my mantra for when I'm talking myself out of things that I KNOW I need to be doing/want to do/God has called me to do. 

So I guess what I'm saying is...

<This little light of mine...I'm going to let it shine...>